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What does he really mean when he says ''I love you''

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:11:00 -0400

Love surely makes people go crazy. They might feel something but say something else - and their partners will hear something completely different. Now, a new guide is set to bridge the communication gap between the sexes.

The communication gap between the sexes has been an enigma for a long time, and now the guide by TV psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos, ''What Men Say, What Women Hear'' is set to bridge the ever-existing gap, reports The Sun.

In order to know what "manspeak" is all about, Dr Papadopoulos analysed some typical conversations between men and women and revealed what exactly goes on in a man''s head.

Conversation after a date:

He says: "I had a great time, should I call you?"

She thinks: He''s trying to get rid of me.

She says: "Yeah, sure. Thanks for tonight. See you soon."

He thinks: That''s not exactly enthusiastic. I''m not going to humiliate myself by pushing it.

According to Linda, a girl shouldn''t think negatively about the man when he is really being genuine. It''s not just a brush-off when a bloke asks to call you. Men do not have a pre-rehearsed set of words to say, so it''s wrong to prejudge their expectations. If you''re unsure if he''s interested, the best way is to ask him directly.

Conversation after meeting the parents:

She says: "You and your dad were having fun, weren''t you?"

She means: I wasn''t, though . . .

He says: "Yeah, it was great to see them."

She says: "Hmmm, sure."

He hears: I don''t like your family.

In Linda''s opinion, that''s what happens when a girlfriend feels left out by her man''s family. So, rather than being defensive, the issue should be dealt as a couple and the lady should make it a point that her comments about his family do not cross the line of accusation.

Conversation at time of emotional unavailability:

He says: (while watching a weepie film) "Are you OK?"

He means: Why are you crying?

She says: "Sure, it just reminded me of a sad time in my life."

He thinks: What''s this film got to do with your life? This is making me feel awkward. I don''t know how to deal with your emotions and I feel trapped . .

He says: Nothing.

His saying nothing means that he doesn''t know what to say, and he would be horrified if he realised he is probably distressing you further. While tears are a natural way for women to express emotion, men are solution focused and want the women to stop crying. They should know that when girls cry, all they want is comfort or reassurance.

Conversation on marriage:

He says: "I can''t wait for the day I walk you down the aisle."

He means: I love you.

She hears: Our relationship will only be truly committed when we are married. Nothing else is good enough.

She thinks: I love you but I''ve told you that I''m not interested in marriage.

Linda said that usually people perceive marriage as it was for their parents-happy or unhappy. So, a couple needs to sit together and talk about what marriage means to each of you in order to reach a compromise. Keep in mind that if it didn''t work out for your parents, it doesn''t mean that it won''t work for you as well. In case your partner has negative views on marriage, try to challenge their negative ideas with positives. (ANI)

John Travolta-style dancing is the best way to win woman''s heart!

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:10:00 -0400

John Travolta’s flamboyant dance style in ‘Saturday Night Fever’ is of the kind that is the most attractive to women, according to a new research.

To determine which dance moves are most likely to impress female onlookers, researchers studied the freestyle dancing techniques commonly deployed by hapless men in nightclubs.

They found that highly-co-ordinated and complex dance moves, such as the point-and-shake moves employed by Travolta''s character Tony Manero in the cult disco film, were deemed the most attractive while exaggerated ‘dad’ dancing, as demonstrated by David Brent in the television comedy series ‘The Office’, was the least attractive.

Another dancing style unlikely to impress a woman was ‘the shuffle’, where self-conscious males shift from foot to foot accompanied with the occasional uncomfortable hand-wring.

According to Dr Peter Lovatt, a psychologist of performance at Hertfordshire University, dancing in nightclubs was the modern human equivalent of courtship displays used by birds and other animals.

"It is all about how we communicate through dance. There is an evolutionary reason why we dance in a particular way – as Darwin suggested, dancing is a bit like a courtship ritual to catch the eye of a high-quality member of the opposite sex,” the Telegraph quoted him, as saying.

"I wanted to examine which features of the dances we see in nightclubs make men seem more masculine, dominant or attractive," he added.

For the study, Lovatt, who was a professional dancer before he went into academia, filmed 15 short video clips of himself performing different dance moves and blurred out his physical features so that only his movements were visible.

He showed the videos to 55 women and asked them to rate how masculine, dominant and attractive each dance move was.

He found that timid dancers who shuffle from foot to foot in small movements were deemed to rate lowest for all three characteristics, while large, uncoordinated movements were also deemed unattractive but were thought to be most dominant.

Highly-co-ordinated, complex movements that were of medium size were found to be the most attractive.

Lovatt said that he hoped his work would provide some tips for those who struggle on the dance floor, whether they are teenagers or older dancers. (ANI)

Pak law enforcement agencies still searching for missing Afghan diplomat

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:09:00 -0400

Amid unconfirmed reports about the recovery of the missing Afghan ambassador-designate Abdul Khaliq Farahi, Pakistani law enforcement agencies have said that they were still searching for him.

“We had heard that the top Afghan diplomat has been recovered but officially we have no information about his return and we are still searching different areas for him,” The News quoted a senior police official in Peshawar as saying.

He disclosed that a detailed report on the investigation carried out so far had been sent to NWFP Governor Owais Ahmed Ghani a couple of days ago.

According to the paper, there has been a continuous pressure on the Pakistan government from the international community to trace the missing envoy, who was abducted on September 22 by some unidentified armed men from Hayatabad Phase-III after shooting his driver Khalid dead.

A few days ago the media reported that the missing diplomat had been recovered. However, law-enforcement agencies are still looking every nook and corner to recover the diplomat. (ANI)

NWFP govt to create more jobs to prevent youths from joining Taliban

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:09:00 -0400

The NWFP government is planning to increase economic activity through offering more government jobs in the province in a bid to curb the wave of Talibanisation, the ruling party the ANP (Awami National Party) has said.

In a statement, ANP working committee member Gul Mina Bilal said that the Taliban were “misguiding unemployed youths, who were joining their ranks”.

However, the provision of employment opportunities would help end Talibanisation in the province, she said and added that it was the ANP government that adopted a clear policy to purge the province of militancy.

Gul said that the Jamaat-e-Islami (JI) and other parties did not speak against those who were destroying the peace of the province.

She blamed the previous Muttahida Majlis-e-Amal (MMA) government for Talibanisation, saying “had the JI stopped the Taliban activities in various areas, the situation would have been different”.

The ANP leader further said that the provincial government had made all preparations for the establishment of free trade zones in Peshawar, Mardan, Nowshera, Haripur and the Mohmand Agency. (ANI)

Nawaz advises PPP-led govt to resolve terrorism through dialogue

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:08:00 -0400

Senior PML-N leader and former Pakistan premier Nawaz Sharif has said that Pakistan could not afford further turmoil (in the country) and that the government must resolve the issue of terrorism “through dialogue”.

He said, “the new government had “legitimized”
some of the former government’s policies instead of reversing them”, and added that the prevalent crises in the country could have been resolved if President Asif Zardari had honoured his commitments with the PML-N.

Sharif said this while addressing a party gathering here last evening to mark October 12 as the ‘Defence of Democracy Day’ to condemn the PML-N’s ouster from government in 1999 coup.

Nawaz said former president Gen (r) Pervez Musharraf must be held answerable to the parliament for his ‘unconstitutional steps’. “The nation has to block the path of military dictatorship forever,” the Daily Times quoted him as saying.

He asked the new government to form national consensus policies instead of following those of the Musharraf regime, which, he blamed for “terrorism and unemployment”.

Pakistan was ‘holding the begging bowl’ because of the former regime’s policies, he said and added that it was a critical time of Pakistan, and the government must deliver. (ANI)

India, Malaysia, Singapore launch joint probe into “Spices of India” flesh trade

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:08:00 -0400

Following the latest rescue of five young Indian tribal women from Kuala Lumpur, the Malaysian, Singaporean and Indian authorities have intensified a joint probe into the flesh trade identifying the Indian women as “Spices of India”.

The women’s rescue had led to the arrest of several vice kingpins in the three countries.

A senior diplomat here described the Indian women as “exotic” and having “pure” qualities, who, she said, were in great demand from wealthy clients here.

According to nstonline.com, senior diplomatic and law enforcement officials of the three countries acknowledged that investigations had intensified following the latest rescue of five Indian women here, leading to the arrest of several vice kingpins in the three countries.

Indian High Commission counselor Sudhir Kumar Mehrotra said that as many as 150 women from Manipur, Assam and Nagaland were believed to have been duped by recruitment agents in recent months. The agents took advantage of many ignorant and destitute families in Manipur''s backward districts, like Tamenglong, promising them a way out of poverty. Instead, the women ended up broke.

The Manipur Police are believed to have made several arrests, including that of Philip Gangmei and Vicky Kungo, in Imphal on Sept 23. There were another three arrests on Oct 3.

Singapore and Malaysian Police are believed to be hot on the trail of another man, believed to be the mastermind of a Singapore-based “recruiting firm”.

Earlier this month, Indian authorities intercepted another five of the women in Dimapur. They were about to be shipped to Singapore via Kolkata. A third group of 15 young women from Punjab state were rescued by temple priests in Kuala Lumpur and repatriated last month, said the sources.

“We believe the girls rescued are just the tip of the iceberg. There could be many more victims from other Indian states,” said a diplomat, and added that the Indian tribal women from small villages were being sought for their “exotic” and “pure” qualities as there was demand for them from wealthy clients at posh city nightspots.

The case came to light when one of the five women from Manipur and Assam escaped from a Kuala Lumpur nightclub, where they had been “dumped” after their arrival from Singapore last month. The woman, who escaped on Sept 17, alerted the Indian High Commission in Jalan Duta, which then sought the assistance of police to rescue the other four. (ANI)

“US-led coalition can’t win terror war without Pak help”

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:08:00 -0400

Pakistan Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi has said that the US and its allies cannot win the war on terror without Pakistan’s help. He stressed on the need for a coordinated effort and a joint strategy to curb terrorism.

Vowing to protect his country’s sovereignty and security, he said the PPP-led government had inherited terrorism and was making efforts to wipe out the menace and restore peace in the country.

He said the federal government wanted to evolve a consensus on all major national issues and parliamentarians were being given an in-camera briefing for this purpose.

It is for the first time that senior army officials have given a detailed briefing to parliamentarians on the country’s participation in the war against terrorism, the Daily Times quoted him as saying while talking to reporters at the Multan Airport.

About the construction of the Baghliar Dam in Kashmir, Quereshi said that they had discussed the matter with the Indian government, which had assured them that it would honour the Indus Water Treaty.

He said trade across the Line of Control (LoC) between IHK and Azad Jammu and Kashmir was a big achievement of the government, and that it would help improve economic conditions of the Kashmiris. (ANI)

12 bombers among 27 Taliban killed by Pak security forces in Orakzai Agency

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:07:00 -0400

Pakistani security forces claimed to have killed 27 Taliban, including 12 bombers, in an air-strike in the Orakzai Agency, here last evening.

The Frontier Corps (FC) described it as a “highly successful action”.

“In a highly successful action in Orakzai Agency, a combat aviation strike killed 27 Taliban,” a statement from the Frontier Corps (FC) headquarters said and added that those killed included two important Taliban commanders.

Credible sources confirmed that 12 persons among those killed were “would-be suicide bombers”, the Daily Times quoted the FC statement as saying.

Meanwhile, according to the paper, relations between the Ali Khel and Mamuzai tribes have worsened following a suicide attack targeting an anti-Taliban jirga of the Ali Khel tribe on Friday. The Ali Khel tribe is against the Taliban, while the Mamuzai tribe is silent on openly opposing the Taliban in the area, said sources.

In separate bombings in the Bajaur Agency, as many as 13 Taliban and three members of a tribal lashkar were killed in fighting and bombing by aircraft, on Sunday. Helicopter gunship and jet fighters targeted Taliban positions in Kotki, Charmang and Chinar areas of Nawagai tehsil, killing 13 Taliban and injuring several other, officials said.

Separately, three members of the lashkar were killed in clashes between the Taliban and volunteers of the Charmang tribes, said the locals. (ANI)

Kashmir, PoK decide to have a joint business chamber

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:07:00 -0400

Captains of industry in Jammu and Kashmir and Pakistan-occupied-Kashmir (PoK) have reportedly agreed to set up a joint business chamber, and the use of a dual currency of India and Pakistan for the purpose.

The decision was taken at a four-hour meeting between the visiting delegation of the PoK Chamber of Commerce and Industry, and the Kashmir Chamber of Commerce and Industry (KCCI), here last evening.

The meeting was chaired by KCCI President Dr Mubeen Shah and his counterpart from PoK Zulfiqar Abbasi.

The meeting discussed various issues related to communication, travel, infrastructure facilities, and other tradable items needed to be included in the list, besides the prospects of the tourism and power sectors. Both the chambers would submit their final recommendations to their respective governments for approval, reported the Daily Times.

They agreed to set up a joint chamber to be called “Federation of Jammu and Kashmir Chambers of Commerce and Industry” for hassle-free trade across the LoC.

“The name would be under consideration and formal announcement would be made after meeting with trade organisations,” the presidents of the two chambers said.

Abbasi said the representation of trade organisations in the joint chamber could be worked out later.

Shah informed the meeting that the government had left it for them to choose the mode of payment and currency. The meeting agreed upon dual currency for trade, keeping in view the unstable position of foreign currencies like the US dollar and Euro in the global market. However, it agreed to set a stable foreign currency as the reference point for determining the rates of the Indian and Pakistani rupee.

Both the presidents said they would impress upon the governments of India and Pakistan to set up branches of their premium banks in the other country’s regions to facilitate trade.

The meeting expressed concern that it took three years for both the governments to allow the PoK trade delegation to visit Kashmir. It suggested that both governments issued one-time travel documents or the documents subjected to periodical review to traders. “They can monitor the travel for security reasons but there should not be any impediment on their part,” Shah suggested. (ANI)

Karzai offered cabinet berths to Taliban if they agree to peace deal

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:07:00 -0400

Even as the US and the UK have been encouraging the Afghan Government to hold talks with the moderate Taliban, Afghan President Hamid Karzai had recently offered cabinet berths to the Taliban leaders in his government if they agreed to a peace deal which could bring fighting to an end.

Karzai reportedly made the offer through his brother Qayoun at a secret meeting in Saudi Arabia of which Britain was aware.

Britain had been encouraging Kabul to talk to its Taliban enemies for more than two years and the Americans are thought to be coming round to the idea of a deal which would end the costly war in Afghanistan, the Daily Times quoted a Sunday Telegraph report as saying.

The London-based paper claimed to have learnt that the allies would insist that the Taliban would have to split with Al Qaeda and provide information on international terrorists in Pakistan and Afghanistan as the price of a deal.

Under the Saudi Arabian initiative, more than a dozen former senior Taliban figures traveled to the kingdom with the approval of Karzai’s government.

The British government had said little about the initiative in public but British military commanders and diplomats are known to favour talking to the Taliban as a way of ending the war.

There are growing fears that the weak Kabul government is not able to hold back the Taliban. British intelligence sources now believe the Taliban’s own ranks may be ready for a grand deal in which Taliban leaders will be allowed to return to their homes and even take positions of power and be granted immunity from prosecution. (ANI)