B4U India

Flippering Out

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 15:30:00 -0400

This just gave Jennifer Aniston an idea...

Keep it in the Bedroom Freaks

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:55:00 -0400

Jermaine Dupri had too much champagne and tequila while celebrating his birthday at club Tenjune and blew chunks into wife Janet Jackson's lap. Janet was reportedly so embarrassed at her husband's reverse peristalsis that she got up and ran like Michael with his hair on fire. I'm sure this wasn't the first time Jermaine has vomited on Janet, but it was the first time it happened by accident and in public. And it usually goes in her mouth instead of her lap.

That's So 2007

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:47:00 -0400

Heather Locklear was busted for DUI in Montecito, California on Saturday after being pulled over for erratic driving. The former person of minor importance was apparently high on prescription meds at the time. Poor Heather...doesn't she know getting pulled over for DUI is totally out? If you want attention now you have to either go lesbian or attack Sarah Palin. Was Heather wearing bloomers when she was pulled over?

She'll Keep Her Panties On, Thanks Very Much

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:37:00 -0400

Jeremy Piven's charms may work on most women but not on Hayden Panettiere. The Star says Piven tried using his moves on the midget TV starlet but only succeeded in skeezing her out. "He was trying to be charming and kept saying he ‘wanted to show her around town,'" says a source. "But Hayden soon excused herself and escaped." Hayden is known for liking older men but apparently 43 is a little too old even for her. Maybe he should've wowed her by reciting some of his credits. "I was the loser check-out guy in Say Anything. Want to see my cock-ring? You're pretty in a weird, not-that-pretty sort of way. I have this horrible disease and it can only be cured by stroking your ass. Yes, your ass specifically..."

Now They're His and His Alone

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:24:00 -0400

The big news over the weekend was Scarlett Johansson marrying Ryan Reynolds. Like every other star, the two were hitched at a small, private ceremony in Mexico. Unlike most other stars, they had to pry a weeping Woody Allen off the car before they could drive off to begin the honeymoon. What's a honeymoon for a pair of movie stars by the way? Do they rent out a football stadium somewhere and hire whole planeloads of hookers for a huge orgy and fly in piles of drugs and gallons of booze? "I want these memories to last a lifetime, or at least until they invent brain-colonics and I can just forget every stupid thing I've ever done." I could've sworn Scarlett said humans weren't monogamous by nature. Yeah - Ryan's got a nice road ahead of him.

Now They're His and His Alone

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:24:00 -0400

Get Lost Freak

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:30:00 -0400

Adnan Ghalib has popped his head up from his spider hole to announce that he has a sex tape starring himself and ex-hostage Britney Spears. "There is such a tape, but I won’t discuss prices for hypothetical enquiries," the scummy pap said. "Unless there is a locked-in deal, I will go no further." Sources say the tape was made in Mexico and features Britney in the buff with that famous pink wig perched on her empty head. Just when she thinks she's out...they pull her back in.

If Adnan can't get some tabloid to buy the tape, he can always sell it at Alli Sims's flea market stand.

Get Lost Freak

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:30:00 -0400

Baby Talk

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:18:00 -0400

Jennifer Garner with her new baby (I must've missed the birth announcement). Kid looks a little fat if you ask me, and the color...that can't be normal (unless the father is an Oompa Loompa). And I'm pretty sure that's not how you're supposed to hold a kid unless your name is Britney Spears. Gosh, it's so adorable though. Congratulations Jen!

Palin Skewered

Sun, 28 Sep 2008 17:07:00 -0400

Fey and Poehler continue their evisceration of Palin. Some of that dialogue is verbatim from Palin's actual interview with Katie Couric. You truly can't make up how dumb Palin is.