B4U India

At Least Somebody Likes Her

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:38:00 -0400

Avril Lavigne donated some extra clothes to some disabled Chinese children (Sharon Stone sternly disapproves) and the China Association of Social Workers gave her an award for her outstanding work. They've also apparently been feeding her well. Now she's not just an insufferable bitch, she's a fat, insufferable bitch. And Canadian, which only makes it worse.

No, It's Brad Pitt

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:10:00 -0400

You might be forgiven for thinking this was Leonardo DiCaprio - but the hat gives away that it's Brad Pitt. The picture on the notebook is Barack Obama. Brad is carefully studying one side of the presidential race so he can make an informed decision come November. Angelina still hasn't made up her mind between Juggy and Mummy-Arms (I like it better than Crip-Arms). A buck says she ends up writing in herself.

Over-Exposed

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:07:00 -0400

Tina Fey's Palin impression is pretty funny but I fear Ms. Fey is on her way to being over-exposed. The hipster geek thing is a decent bit but I don't know how much farther she can go on it. And McCain's going to lose so Palin won't be any good beyond November. Maybe she could star in a female remake of Scarface.

Raggamuffins

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:44:00 -0400

Angelina dresses the kids like little ragamuffins - check out Pax especially - but the whole thing reeks of over-studied phoniness. If they were real ragamuffins they wouldn't be nearly so color-coordinated. And the way Shiloh's pants are rolled up. Trying too hard.

Britney Joins Hamas

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 12:54:00 -0400

Britney Spears has taken the leap from pop star to radical Palestinian terrorist by joining Hamas. Now when she flashes her cooch it will shoot flames and when she drives crazily toward pedestrians her vehicle will be laden with explosives. "Death to Israel, y'all!"

Unfortunate

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:31:00 -0400

Jessica Alba's baby is...I don't want to say anything bad about an innocent infant but damn, that is one unattractive child. I keep expecting it to start talking about its dog Checkers. Is that a human kid or some kind of puffer fish?

Not in His Underwear

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:04:00 -0400

Justin Gaston sings with Miley Cyrus's older sister Whogivesashit at Miley's elaborate Sweet 16 celebration. Dude's gay, end of story. By the way...what the fuck kind of shit goes on in Miley's head for her to end up in poses like this when she's on-stage?

Maybe she's angling for that big Dulcolax endorsement deal.

Brtiney Joins Hamas

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 12:54:00 -0400

Dose of Reality

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 12:40:00 -0400

Ali Lohan is crying in her Cocoa Puffs after being told to hit the road by a famed music manager she sought as her representative. The manager, Johnny Wright, was apparently approached on Ali's behalf by the Maloof Brothers, but Wright never followed up on these initial contacts. This didn't stop the evil Dina Lohan from claiming Wright was all ready to add Ali to his stable of musical stars, which already includes the Jonas Brothers. Wright took offense at Dina's presumption and released the following statement:

Johnny Wright would like to set the record straight regarding his involvement with Ali Lohan.
Johnny Wright has never met with Ali Lohan, has never been introduced to Ali Lohan, nor has he had a meeting with Ali or Dina Lohan regarding Ali's music career. While he wishes Ali Lohan the best in all her endeavors, Mr. Wright has never had any intention of speaking with Ali Lohan regarding her career. Any story that has surfaced about such a meeting holds no merit and is completely false.
Wright Entertainment Group has never had any interest or intention of adding Ali Lohan as an artist on the company's roster, which currently includes Justin Timberlake, Jonas Brothers, Janet Jackson and Ciara amongst others.

This would make great fodder for the next season of Living Lohan - unfortunately, it doesn't look like that particular show will be renewed. If I were Ali I'd start picking up community college brochures.

Cause He's the Only One Who Can Help

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 12:37:00 -0400

Tom Cruise goes all out in helping a photographer who fell while trying to snap the actor and his wife Katie Holmes in the West Village. Did anyone catch Tom slipping the pap a fifty and telling him "Good job?" Oh, Xenu bless you Tom, you wonderful, thoughtful, phony-ass motherfucker.