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How to keep your sex-life stress-free

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 11:39:00 -0400

Do you feel that stress is squeezing the fun out of your rocky bedroom life? If yes, then you can bring back the action, courtesy tips provided by sex educator and relationship expert Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright.

According to the expert, many couples become frustrated, even panicky, when their sex lives go to the wayside during stressful times.

When it comes to the factor that governs a person''s sex life, it''s personality, reports Fox News.

Fulbright says that how an individual''s sex life fares depends on whether he tries to get closer to his partner in tragic times or wants to be totally alone - and if he''s the withdrawing sorts, then it can create misunderstandings in the relationship.

In order to avoid any such misunderstandings and still keep sex life full of fun and passion, Fulbright has suggested that couples need to establish a common ground and mutual understanding during stressful times.

Also, they should make an effort to stay connected during life''s highs and lows, because if they don''t, it could lead to dire consequences.

And in case, sex is not on mind and also the time to be spent in the sack is less, then a person can try the following:

1. Showing appreciation for one another. Giving compliments, for example, is a simple way of expressing affection and letting your partner know that he or she is still being noticed and loved.

2. Talking daily. Chat during dinner or at bedtime. Conversations foster bonding by providing support. It''s also important for couples to check in with each other, showing concern and care for one another''s well-being with simple statements like, "Tell me about your day."

3. Staying positive. Bite your tongue if you''re about to complain. Stressful situations are hard enough to deal with. Don''t add to the situation if you can avoid doing so.

4. Believing in your future together. Stressful times can make lovers doubt their ability to stay together for the long haul. Insecurity issues that arise can only make matters more difficult. Making plans is one way to indicate that you''re feeling secure about your future.

5. Helping each other with responsibilities. Approaching tasks with a team effort provides a greater sense of being in "this" together.

6. Balancing "alone time" and "together time." Create a sensual atmosphere, for example, soothing scents, dim lights, delicious food, and relaxing music, to help you unwind.

7. Getting creative in how you''ll be intimate. Redefine your definition of sexual intimacy when needed; try a simple body massage.

Not to forget, lovers should make it a point to give in to one another''s requests for intimacy whenever possible, as it might just prove to be a big stress-buster.

In fact, sex has many physical and emotional benefits, which may help in boosting your desire for more sex and emotional intimacy. Sex can easily take your mind off of your worries.

Also, patience is the key to get your sex life back on track. One should make sure that your relationship, in general, doesn''t get neglected. (ANI)

Give it up for the latest fashion accessory – ‘tear’ eye jewellery!

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 11:37:00 -0400

A Dutch designer has come up with a bizarre fashion accessory – eye jewellery that hangs from wire attached to a contact lens.

Eric Klarenbeek has created the eye jewellery that includes items like crystals or flowers.

It hangs beneath the eye, and is fastened to the lens by medical wire. It makes the wearer look as if they are crying.

“People who have worn my eye jewellery are amazed at its comfort,” Times Online quoted Klarenbeek, as saying.

“You can’t feel the wire dangling, it doesn’t affect your sight and the lens moves along gently with your eyeball, even while blinking,” she added. (ANI)

Pushy mums make for successful daughters

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 09:50:00 -0400

Daughters of pushy mothers turn out to be more successful, according to a new study.

The 30-year study claims that mothers’ expectations from their daughters, is what decides how successful the latter would be in their professional encounters.

Led by psychologist Dr Eirini Flouri, the researchers analysed information from a study of children born in 1970.

It was found that females, whose mothers had high hopes for them will feel more in control of their lives by the age of 30.

However, the study highlighted that maternal influence is only important for women and not men, reports Telegraph.

In the study, mother of ten-year-old children were asked to predict the age at which their child would leave school. This question was chosen to gauge the mother''s belief in the capabilities of her daughter.

Later Flouri compared this information with an assessment of the children''s self-confidence when they were thirty.

The results indicated that women''s self esteem had a direct connection to their mother''s belief in them, even when factors such as the children''s intellectual ability and their parents'' wealth were taken into account.

It is believed that mothers are more likely to push their daughters rather than their sons. But, daughter''s earnings showed no link to their mother''s expectations.

According to Flouri, belief in a child''s abilities is "just one aspect" of parenting.

Britney Spears'' mother has been accused of being a pushy mum and driving her career, starting when the star had her big break on Disney''s Mickey Mouse Club when she was 12 years old.

The 26-year-old is now ranked as the eighth best-selling female recording artist in the US, to the Recording Industry Association of America.

The findings of the study are published in the Journal of Educational Psychology and reported in the New Scientist. (ANI)

Violent TV programs can create negative attributes in kids

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 09:50:00 -0400

The amount of violent TV watched is linked to negative personality attributes among white males and females and African-American females, according to a new study.

To investigate the connection, psychologists Seymour Feshbach from the University of California, Los Angeles and June Tangney from George Mason University conducted a study that evaluated TV viewing habits, intelligence, and behaviour in 4th, 5th and 6th grade children.

To assess these qualities, the children’s parents and teachers completed behavioral questionnaires detailing the children’s aggression, delinquency and cruelty.

The children took IQ tests and completed surveys indicating the TV programs (which were later categorized as violent or non-violent by the researchers) they had watched during a seven-day time period.

The results showed a positive relationship between the amount of violent TV watched and negative personality attributes among white males and females and African-American females.

Interestingly though, while there was a correlation between watching violent TV and lower academic performance in African-America males, these boys did not exhibit increased aggression or lower IQ.

The researchers speculate that perhaps for African-American males, viewing TV (including violent programs) may play a different role than for white males and African-American and white females.

“The data raise the possibility that processes competing with or overriding the aggression stimulating or aggression modeling effects of viewing violence on television may be more salient for African-American males,” the researchers said.

The study is published in the September issue of Perspecitves on Psychological Science. (ANI)

Sex, surfing make men happiest, petting pooches, women

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 09:49:00 -0400

Aussie men get their endorphins racing when they are surfing the net or having sex, whereas women are the happiest while having meals with pals and petting their pooches, according to the 2008 Australian Happiness Index.

For both men and women rest, relaxation and entertainment toped the list in the index, with quality time with partner also making the top four for each sex. But that''s where the similarities end.

According to the index, sex ranks as a top five activity to make men happy and surfing the Internet tops even that at number three.

Sex and the Internet were also top 10 choices for women to make them happy, but enjoying a family meal and playing with pets or children ranked much higher.

Eating comfort food scored in the top 10 for both sexes, but the more discerning men questioned said they preferred great food and wine or drinking with friends to reaching for the chocolate.

Despite the notion, shopping does not make all women happy - only 30 per cent were happiest when shopping for new clothes, shoes or accessories, the study found.

One in two women said reading a good book made them happy whereas less than one in three men said the same, and 36 per cent of generous-natured women said buying gifts made them feel joyful, compared to a miserly 19 per cent of men.

The index was compiled by marketing consultants The Leading Edge who spoke to more than 8500 Australians aged between 18 and 64.

"Australians are made happy on a week-to-week basis, not by possessions and achievements, but by entertaining experiences and by meaningful interactions with others," News.com.au quoted The Leading Edge managing director Karen Phillips, as saying. (ANI)

Single 40-year-old women most likely to be “left on the shelf”

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 10:54:00 -0400

Women who are single at 40 are officially “left on the shelf”, suggests a new research.

The study, which brings bad news for Kylie Minogue, who turned 40 in May, pinpointed the milestone birthday as the moment women leave behind their carefree ways and start to plan for the future as a party of one.

According to the study that polled 1,000 women, one in 10 Britons blame putting their career first for their single status.

The research revealed that 32 per cent think they will feel “left on the shelf” once all of their friends settle down.

But 13 per cent believe it will happen when they start to lose their looks.

One in 20 even think it takes just a few comments from friends and family to start questioning whether they ever will find someone to love.

“Our research shows that 40 is the age when women turn from a happy-go-lucky singleton to spinster overnight,” the Daily Express quoted a spokeswoman for shelving company Bigdug, which commissioned the study, as saying.

“Jennifer Aniston and Renee Zellweger both turn 40 next year so need to start dating soon to avoid the ‘left on the shelf’ tag. But with many females being so career focused, love lives are not the top priority any more,” the rep said. (ANI)

Immigrant kids from poor countries academically outdo those from developed nations

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 10:52:00 -0400

Immigrant children from countries with lower levels of economic development have better scholastic performance than comparable children who emigrate from countries with higher levels of economic development, says a new study.

Sociologists Mark Levels, Jaap Dronkers and Gerbert Kraaykamp looked at the mathematical literacy scores of 7,403 of 15-year-old immigrants to 13 Western nations from 35 different native countries. It showed that economic development and political conditions in an immigrant''s home country impact the child''s academic success in his or her destination country.

The study authors analyzed the impact of policies and political conditions in destination countries and found that in traditional immigrant-receiving countries such as Australia and New Zealand, immigrant children academically outperformed their counterparts in other Western nations.

Even the children from immigrant communities with higher socioeconomic status relative to the native population had higher scholastic performance than those from other immigrant communities.

Likewise, children from large immigrant communities were more likely to perform better academically than children from smaller immigrant communities.

However, children of immigrants from politically unstable countries have poorer scholastic performance compared to other immigrant children.

"Adult political immigrants are known to face serious negative consequences that can be related to the political situations in their origin countries," said Levels, junior researcher in the Department of Sociology at Radboud University, Nijmegen, in the Netherlands.

"We found that these consequences carry across generations to affect their children''s educational chances as well. Our findings therefore have urgent implications in countries that receive a large number of these immigrants."

"Specific educational programs designed to counter the negative effects of political migration may be essential to ensure that the children of politically motivated immigrants achieve their full potential," he added.

The study appears in October issue of the American Sociological Review. (ANI)

How to share wildest sexual fantasies with your partner

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 10:49:00 -0400

When it comes sharing sexual fantasies, even the ''closest'' couples find it hard to communicate their innermost ''naughty acts'' to each other. But if you''re one of those who don''t want to miss out on the fun, then here are few tips to get your mind ''moving''.

Not many couples are able to act out their sexual fantasies even if they are pro in the sack. The problem-How to share your wild thoughts? What would your partner think about you? How would he/she react? Will they comply or not?

Such questions and many others flood the minds of many sexually active adults who want to explore their wildest of sexual dreams, reports Fox News.

While sharing lewd, obscene, or sensuous scenes with your partner can pose to be a big problem, it also has an upside- not only can you divulge your sexual desires but could even get a sneak peek into your lover''s libidinous thoughts as well.

So if you want to spice things up by sharing it all, sex and relationship expert Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright''s guide will prove a saviour for you.

And she says that before taking the plunge and share, you should first ask yourself the following questions:

1. What''s my motivation?

Why do you want to share this fantasy? What turns you on about sharing? Do you hope the sharing can be a form of foreplay or something more? Are you hoping that your fantasy will be fulfilled? Will it be advantageous to your relationship to share, revving up sex for the both of you?

2. Will sharing diffuse my own pleasuring?

Many lovers like to have a few tricks up their sleeves in bed, and their private fantasies are often what makes or breaks the sexual moment. Whether it''s getting through a sex act or working your way to orgasm, will sharing take away from how your fantasy benefits you now? Will you be able to enjoy having the cat out of the bag?

3. Am I in the right kind of relationship for sharing?

Not every relationship can weather such intimate sharing. You need to be in a secure, trusting relationship. Your sexual union should be able to provide you with the support and safety needed to get over any nervousness and anxiety, and to field any reactions. Lovers need to make each other feel accepted and emotionally safe. This includes being able to refuse a request to act out a fantasy without putting the other down.

4. Can my partner handle my fantasies?

Some lovers can''t handle hearing about certain sex acts, especially if they involve "who" you''re fantasizing about. Partners who are sex negative or uncomfortable with sexual intimacy in general are not going to be the best candidates for such sharing. So consider what your lover may be open to and which types of fantasies may cause more harm than good.

5. Am I ready to hear my partner''s fantasies?

Lovers tend to expect reciprocity when sharing fantasies. It''s usually not a one-way street, so you have to consider how you might react to your partner''s fantasies. Can you go there? How can you provide the same safety you''re hoping for?

After the self-questioning comes the sharing part, so think long and hard about when to open up. And don''t expose a fantasy after a hot romp, for it may not be received as well as one meant to arouse desire.

Let your partner know that you want to share something and explain your reasons for wanting to share.

Finally, remind your lover that your relationship means more than any fantasy. Your partner should not feel undesirable at all. (ANI)